Smell of Some Dew Drops...

10:41 PM 6/12/2014

Something in the midnight air tonight makes me feel so melancholic or maybe just sentimental... Maybe because of the evening breeze that brings the smell of rain or the after rain aroma. maybe the thunder... Maybe... then the "balut" vendor riding his bike shouting around bout his merchandise. The first memory I have of balut is really of Manila. I was probably about two years old and my then only sibling was one, our parents took us to live here in Mandaluyong somewhere around Domingo M Guevarra street which was then called Libertad. On some evenings when my father and other fellow Bicolnons would gather on few bottles of beer, they would buy balut from pedlars passing by. Those were happy times I remember to this day, not the streets or the buzzing metro but the balut! The next of course is when we've produced balut ourselves. Hard trying times but I missed those days... maybe the smell of the ducks or the evening breeze in the farm... smell of the province! guess am missing home... It's been over six months since I went "home"... yeah maybe am just getting homesick... it's ironic that when i go home I'd miss the metro too! the human heart really hardly gets satisfied... or these are just one of the days that i just wanted to lay down and do nothing, think of nothing - just feel...

Food Photography Today...

I was told its way cold down south... yeah I remember, this is the start of the coldest months in the country particularly the way I remember it in Cam. Sur...

I somewhat miss the coldness of the sweeping breeze and the nice scent of wet grass...now if not because of my dearest, I'd be packing up home-bound.

To make things more nostalgic, while scavenging thru the stuff in the fridge... I found the cylinder of "dinailan" way down the vegetable compartment. I think it's already at least six months down there... people here in the metro call it bagoong but it is made up of ground fish and salt (instead of the traditional shrimp in the Tagalogs) clumped and packed in cylinders.

To satiate my hunger and ease my home-sickness, I made Arozcaldo out of the left-over rice in the cooker and separately fried the dianilan with two cloves of garlic. Deep fried in oil, the cylinder packed Dinailan loosens and when perfectly loose, I added the circular sliced garlic till crisp and light brown.

Arozcaldo and dinailan are perfect meal during and after big storms as all the members of the family gather around the flickering oil lamp. It is also a perfect diner combo during heavy rains and on cold strong windy nights... Now I feel warm... and for that brief from the first mouthful till I emptied my bowl, I was huddling back with my family who are miles down south tonight...

Lenten mussings...

The Lenten season can bring a lot of realizations especially what one has been spoiling one's own "gusto"... literally am starving and been starving coz despite the rocketing buying power, the streets are empty of the gastronomically enticing stuff... alright! Time to think back and rethink... check on some friends from my wall till I pass by some visually palatable wholesale restaurant pages... darn! don't know whether I have lost my Franciscan ways or simply have adapted to my new world long enough to complain about food... where can you buy so much wasted food for 100 bucks? so many options but most of them are crap! yeah! try it yourself, by 2AM you'll get 2 viands a side dish and a bowl of rice just about 100 bucks! Here’s a bit of what I got::

I bought kare-kare thinking that of GeeWan’s (I badly miss Naga!!!)and palabok almost tasting the one from Taguig or the one I had in Calabanga, Cam Sur.. or at least close… to my dismay all of them were not only close to spoiling but tasted NOTHING! It’s not customary of me to bring extra cash or card when I go to work so I couldn’t buy anything else (beyond my daily budget) besides I was starving real big (and I know that my stomach keeps its Franciscan ways and wouldn’t complain even if the food is spoiled)… I still believed that it is never good wasting food (many starve to death of hunger) so I mustered the whole thing convincing myself that it could be my share penance after not doing any for quite a while.

It was just disheartening that when I gave it the second chance the next time but chose a different stall – I got a lasagna made of a very thick pasta with ground meat and some melted cheese for toppings and guess what(?) – also spoiled only at 2 AM! (the food is set at around midnight and should it not last until well maybe noon at most?!!!) If only Starmark’s is close by or if Greenwich is 24/7!!!

Gee… prudence is also a virtue and one big factor to surviving the urban jungle! I have my values intact and fully guarded but must admit that somehow I had become picky of what virtues put affront…

Buzz my Bumblebee

Hmmmm...the arid coldness of the room

Hush… the deafening silence and the unbearable space

… is killing me except the kitty by himself race

amidst the breaking dawn that slowly loom

Maybe I just got used to the morning talks when I get home… Thought most of them were none sense whining or mere blabbering… but be them sensible or not your week’s absence drives my sanity to the ledge… should I jump to nothingness? Easy… it would make more sense falling to something than nothing… The big city is such a burden and it is more apparent that its loads are not of concern when you are right here by my side…  

“don’t want your photo on my cellphone… I want you here with me…I don’t want your memory in my head… I want you here with me…”

Yeah, someone is singing some nonsense out of me on MTV… The cat plays by himself as I force to sleep while fully awake to the reality of…

...the arid coldness of the room

… the deafening silence and the unbearable space

… is killing me except the kitty by himself race

amidst the breaking dawn that slowly loom

Ironies and Some Explosion…

Over the weekend I was with my baby and spent the time with my brother who was visiting the metro with his girl… It was a wonderful night at MOA for the opening of the 4th International Pyromusical Competition. New stuff for me since I simply notice formations and colors whenever witnessing one but this time I saw synchronization to music and the experience was different.

There was just this bar who for the duration of the display vehemently allowed its band to play especially even when the participants’ national anthem were being played before each set. Maybe their patrons were there to stay longer after the event but couldn’t they at least shut-up and give way to the occasion for at least the hour? I paid much more than I would rather spend to listen to the music and fireworks display and not to the rather stupid songs I hear daily from the radio! Made me want to throw the quarter empty bottled water at them – but what would it do to me after? I can hurl the bottle and give realization to my ranting and cause a riot to shut them up… but there is quite a distance and I may end up hitting some innocent bystander or worse the complex guard trying hard to talk them out to stop (as ordered by maybe by their supervisors or as complaints were piling up)… I could also sprain my arm since I haven’t been doing any exercises for quite some time now, and so I decided it is just to tiresome and too risky to do it one way or the other besides I was beginning to scare my girl for building steam…

The fireworks display started and I was impressed… the performers either had no choice but to stop since no one was listening to them anyway or were also dazzled by the light display towards the bay… I smirked… The choreography was awesome and I can hear everyone with their wows and ah’s… I have let out some of mine as I would appreciating any good performance I witness. Then in between some pauses and silence some thought hit me that, maybe they just have to go on with the show no matter what… One song is worth something out of the set for the night – I am paid hourly regardless whether I was sleeping waiting for my projects to finish or meticulously tracking and re-tracking each project progress, while they may be getting paid per song and one song out of their list or prospected request from their patrons could mean few bucks cut off their pay for the night… I felt a thud in my chest with the light and sound explosions as the musical accompaniment hits its crescendo… the music fades… the final sparkles burn out from view… I thought I did not hear any cheering from the crowd instead I heard the waves splash and break through the rocks… the harbor lights and the approaching plane lights came back to view… we were oozing through the crowd passing the un-wavered performers… I noticed they sing good… a gust of sea breeze blew and tickled a smile off my face…

Dew Drops 0323H 2013 01 18

It is 3 o'clock in the morning... I just finished the last of my overdue articles. My eyes are aching yet I still cannot sleep. The laptop is getting hotter and cooled by the AC right by my side. I bet it is cold outside as it is here inside. I tried to browse some stuff here in my folders and found this old picture of me and my friends way back in Caritas Mariae DWRV 98.3 FM in Naga City.

 

To be honest, I don't really recall having this photo taken... but thanks to P2T for uploading this to our (Old)Youth of The Franciscans of the Immaculate Facebook group page. So far, this is the only proof that I was once a Disc Jockey... Memories came surging through from all those years in the radio. I must say, it played a major role in developing my self confidence to express and be heard.

I miss the days gone by... I was young then...so very young then...

Cityscape...

I was awakened by an uncanny urge to unload my bladder...

The clock has only struck four in the morning... the AC has turned itself off and I think I was fully awakened and need to warm my stomach a bit. It only took about three minutes for the electric heater to stop and another minute for me to complete my coffee - yummie!

It is still dark and a bit cold. I took a towel and wrapped it around my back as I walked out the garden... the air is cold and I still smell Christmas or must I say the monsoon ... I took a sip or two and suddenly started missing a used to be familiar scent... it will take a bit long before I could again enjoy the sweet morning smell of the rice field in bloom... I looked at the sky and my sight hindered by the remainder of the ten-storey condo.

Yeah, I used to see towering coconut and mango trees slightly waving at gusts of the morning breeze... but I know I'll get used to this.

I headed back to my unit and took my last sip... I'll pull through - I told myself as I let out a sigh and glanced towards the sweet slumbering lady cuddling her little bear...